from god on film (a hotel scene)

dear god I have lost my handwriting:

this what happens in hotels

how little is said in daylight

when the dark is full of sounds

that is probably why ink is black

and I'll never go back to you

though it is always you I go back to

meeting on islands in dreams to talk it through

often noting how the poles

of beautiful and ugly are the same

how an ultimate in-between would occur off-screen

when someone unseen instructs "die"

and beautifully, these are the instructions

as I tell you how sad it can be to zoom in so close

and then back so far away

to see everything be that doesn't know itself seen

set against music that never knew how to speak

and suddenly to have a nose full of god

then that colour adrum in your ear

then all at once the lights shut-off 

from god on film (for you)

I talk to the sea

as though it is all of those I have ever called

"you" dissolved into one other

with one capacity to drown

or retreat from me eyeless

into one speechless indifference

you might drown in sameness

or in the gap between yourself and what's different

from god on film (first aphorism of light)

when traffic light comes in

and roams around in here

it falls off objects

as if it had weight

it doesn't

but that is the meaning of it

and that is enough cause

for me to tell you of it